Been there done that

Posted: May 3, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Leadership, Uncategorized
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Last week my wife gave birth to a beautiful son.  His name is Sean Thomas.  I can’t explain how much I love this boy.  The concept of being a daddy of a boy is overwhelming…however, that is not what THIS post is about.

Sean Thomas is our third child and over this past week I have noticed a trend in my parenting style.  Let’s just say that I tend to forget things.  Not important things like buckle his car seat or feed him.  Stuff like taking an extra diaper with me when I go off, burp him after he eats, keep him bundled in his lil swaddle at night.

Why the forgetfulness you may ask?  Because, as I said this is our third child…I have been there, done that.  I know what to do, right?  With my first daughter I was paranoid about everything.  Every detail was examined and researched.  I am pretty sure I got Google thrust into greatness with all my searching.  With my second child there wasn’t nearly the panic but still the attention was still given to detail.  However, I find that now…since I am an old pro and all I don’t need to sweat the details nearly so much.  So my precious son cries with a wet diaper, spits up on his mattress and basically looks at me like an idiot because I have been there, done that.

How much do we do this in our ministries.  We rely on our experience, we rely on our training because we have been here before we know what we are supposed to do right?  So, we don’t pay attention to the details.  We don’t look at what is simply what we perceive it to be based on our past experiences.

We need to stay diligent in our approach to ministry.  Don’t overlook the small stuff , the small stuff is the difference between excellence and diaper rash.

Youth Ministry and Modern Warfare

Posted: April 15, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Culture, Leadership, Theology or Church Life
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I have a confession to make…as a youth ministry veteran I am very lack in a crucial area of youth ministry and that is video gaming.  However, I just purchased a new PS3 and with it I purchased the must have game…Modern Warfare.  I am really bad at this game.  I play with Sean Gajda and Skyler Alexander and it is immensely embarrassing.  Although I am getting better…no really.

This morning during staff devotions Pastor Cal spoke on Spiritual Warfare and I slipped into a daze of video games and youth ministry…during that daze I thought of some pretty cool parallels of MW2 and youth ministry…enjoy.

The grenade is a crucial weapon for beginners.  One press of a trigger and when someone is shooting you they go out as well.  It is a bush league move but it works.  This is the easiest weapon to use.  You don’t have to aim, you don’t have to have any skill.  You just lob away and watch the impact.  This is done in youth ministry often.  I am the king of it actually.  You see we have a youth ministry that runs between 300 and 400 students.  I stand on the stage and lob my grenades with spunk!  It takes no more than a solid message and a good delivery and throw in some funny jokes and BAM!  Impact.  You get a lot of people that way but often you leave a mess as well.  There is very little chance of follow up and if a student heard a scripture wrong (or God forbid you misquoted scripture) there is often little chance of correcting that perception.  So a great weapon for large impact but also must be handled carefully and SHOULD not be the only weapon in your arsenal.

The sniper rifle drives me crazy!  By the time I find a good location and get a bead on someone I am playing against someone else already finds me and pegs me in the forehead.  This is an extremely powerful weapon that has huge advantages if you are willing to be patient and learn to use it.  This ministry is discipleship and accountability.  It means looking at a student and talking with them and not at them.  It means hurting when they fail not getting angry.  It means long talks over a coke about a struggle that they fell to AGAIN.  There is little chance of collateral damage and has an almost 100% success rate…even if they don’t get it now the time you pour into them will resonate for years/decades to come.

The annoying thing about playing this game with people who are “gamers” is that they know all the cool hiding places and the cool shortcuts to sneak up behind you and get you.  Knowing your terrain is vital in youth ministry.  Who are your kids?  What is their background?  How does your ministry experience line up with your students?  Knowing them is knowing what to teach them and how.  Knowing the terrain of your area will keep you from making rookie mistakes and having endless foolish conversations with parents because of a seemingly benign comment.  What can be said in Atlanta may be taboo in Augusta.  What is perfectly fine in Charleston may be out of the question in Greenville.  Your maps are important.

I am still learning this game.  I am trying to get my kill rate up and am learning my maps and weapon strategies.  I want to make an impact everytime I get in the game.  Wait…what game did you think I was talking about?

Lately…

Posted: April 14, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Family, Leadership
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So I have not been blogging lately and my tweets have even gotten spastic.  It is not due to anything weird just that all of my creative energy is going towards Breakaway.  However, to be honest I am not feeling that creative lately.  A lot is going on though so to fill you in…

  • We hired a new Middle School pastor.  Sean Gajda is a grad from CSU and has done some great work from my former church Remount Baptist Church in North Charleston.  He will focus on Middle School ministries but will assist in all areas.  He is a passionate communicator and loves the teenage culture.
  • My son Sean Thomas will be born a week from this Friday.  That has brought with it some extreme excitement as well as some humbling prospects.  I can’t wait to meet him, hold him, teach him and pray with him but Rheaumes have never been that good at raising sons so there is some concern there.
  • As I mentioned we are planning Breakaway and I am very excited about that this year.  However, with a new location, new staff and new energy it is a bit of a life-sucker.

So…I wouldn’t say that I was overwhelmed but I am definitely at the verge of whelmed.  However, I like this time…it is a time right on the edge of burnout where I can take a right turn and flame out or take a left turn and get recharged and inspired seeking God for new ways of accomplishing old ideas.  Figuring out how I can become more efficient and Worship centered rather than task centered.  So, I will take 2 weeks off and enjoy my new son, read and pray and thank God for the wisdom to turn left.

So what are you up to?

10 – 80 – 10 Youth Ministry Principle

Posted: March 11, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Leadership, Theology or Church Life
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There are tons of 10 – 80 – 10 principles out there so here is my fleshing out a youth ministry version of it.  There are many ways to debate health in youth ministry.  There are attendance numbers, decisions for Christ, baptisms, students who serve in ministry and the list goes on and on and on.  I am a youth pastor of a large youth ministry and have been a youth pastor of a small youth ministry.  There are successes and health in every size an type of model but one thing that allows me to at least quantify how we are doing is the good old fashioned bell curve.

The leadership 10%

The way I figure it (and I am sure I am not original in this idea) is that 10% of my ministry should be solidly on fire for Jesus…you know your all stars.  The ones that bring their Bible, crave the word and share Jesus at School.  These 10% are to be poured into and developed as leaders and disciplers themselves.

The high maintenance 10%

Then there are the other 10% of students that when you see them you wonder what in the world went wrong.  You don’t ever seem to be able to get through to them.  They are at the group to see their friends, to eat the pizza or to simply get away from home.  They are hardend and though we should never give up on them, they are typically the ones we manage not pour into.  (I know that sounds harsh and offends some sensibilities but you know who you pour into.)

The middle 80%

This is the where the battle is won or lost.  This is the crowd that we are fighting for.  Are they going to be led into the leadership 10 or the high maintenance 10.  These are the ones on the bubble that tend to fall through the cracks.  This is why we offer small groups, cell groups, accountability groups or whatever you offer.  We need to pray for these students, fight for these students and staff to these students.

This in my view is where the idea of health takes place.  If a ministry is skewed too much in the leadership area it tends to be inward focused and becomes a club of Christian teens.  However I have also led a ministry that focused on the high maintenance teens in a missions model that placed so much attention on some of the hardest cases that the leaders and teens that really should have/could have been developed for leadership felt outcast in their own youth group.  Finally if you focus so much on EVERYONE your ministry is flat and ineffective.  However if you are balanced you are developing a manageable amount of students and you have a solid crop of students to fight for/develop.  And you don’t have to feel bad about the 10% of students that are floating in and out because that number is moderate as well.

I know there are holes all in my blog here so poke away but I have found this to be effective as a ministry when I was running 25 3 years ago and it works now that I run 350 in our youth ministry.  Now, these are simplistic theories I know, theories that do not take into account the human element but it is a tool to help plot out the health of your group.  So, try it out…plot out your kids and see where you need to pour your time, energy and resources.  Have fun and tell me what you think.

The road to hell…

Posted: February 24, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Leadership
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You have heard this quote before I am sure.  ”The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

I don’t know if mine will lead me to hell but they will definitely lead me to mediocrity and uselessness to the kingdom of God.

These are some of my stones that I tend to pave with with…

1st Stone – I intend to spend more time with individuals and pour into them because that is how true discipleship and spiritual transformation takes place.

2nd Stone – I intend to intentionally date my wife and play with my kids because they deserve more than my leftovers.

3rd Stone – I intend to exercise more because my body does not need to resemble a temple to be one.

4th Stone – I intend to spend more personal worship time because out of my time with God flows my attitude toward others.

5th Stone – I intend to become more efficient with my calendar and my time because God deserves everything he can get out of me.

6th Stone – I intend to read more and sharpen my leadership skill because bad leadership is a sin.

7th Stone – I intend to share the love of Jesus more and not rely on “lifestyle evangelism” that never leads to evangelism.

8th Stone – I intend on laughing more because who wants to follow an angry person.

9th Stone – I intend on giving more because I am rich.

10th Stone – I intend on helping the needy more because what I can give is needed by someone.

All of those intentions without execution will lead me to be a lazy, ineffective leader that will have little to no impact on the kingdom of God.  What are your stones?

Compassionate Calendar

Posted: February 22, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Leadership
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In Luke 9:57-62 Jesus shares the cost of following him.  There are 3 men with three distinct excuses.  He concludes the teaching by saying “No one who puts his hands to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”  When God reveals to you or me an opportunity to serve what is our knee jerk reaction?  Is it “Here am I Lord, send me!” or “yeah but I have to do _________.”  If we are going to walk out compassion in our lives we must build margin in our calendars.

If you are pegged to the red (even with good things) on your agenda with no room for Holy Interruptions then you are unfit for the service in the kingdom of God.  Busy does not equal productive.  Before you pan me for preaching, I am talking to myself in this blog and I am working to correct this sin.  I schedule everything, including my margin…so that I know where my time goes every day.  This blog is able to be written because I allotted time for margin.

Hear my balance, I deplore lazy ministers who spend ALL their time seeking and planning without DOING anything.  Our salaries are paid by the tithes of our faithful members and I take nothing more seriously.  However, we need to work more efficiently and we need to schedule margin in our day.  That margin can be for Holy interruptions and if one doesn’t arise (even though they always do) you can always fill it with planning for you next series, researching to make you message better or even a time to spend in prayer.

It is a cliche but you have to control your calendar or your calendar will control you.

I pray that you develop the compassionate calendar.

Failure as a tool

Posted: February 20, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Culture, Leadership
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The pancakes are eaten and the coffee is brewing, the wife is asleep and the kids are glued to Spongebob.  It is Saturday morning in the Rheaume home.  I am sitting in the sunroom channel surfing and I came across a NASA documentary on NATGEO.  After the Apollo 1 caught fire killing 3 astronauts NASA did a bold thing directly after.  They declared that they would be the first to put men on the moon that year!   They declared that after they just burned 3 of their own alive.  They didn’t scrap the program because it was too dangerous.  They didn’t postpone for years so they could figure every detail out.  They didn’t make the day that those men died the focus, but the vision of what they died for became the focus.

When we fail in ministry, (or in life for that matter) we tend to focus on the failure.  Why it happened?  How can I keep it from happening?  Who was to blame?  Instead, how refreshing would it be to just get up, dust yourself off and keep plugging away at your purpose.  The goal should always be the focus.  The goal of our ministry is to bring people closer to Jesus.  We will sometimes fail.  We will at times make it about us.  We will fall flat on our faces.  In the future I hope we will not spend our time analyzing our failures but will get up and continue forward towards the audacious goal of influencing our community for Jesus.

Summer Breakaway 2010

Posted: February 12, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Alive Worship Experiences, Pointe North Life
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As I look out my living room window at the snow falling down, I find myself getting excited about Summer Breakaway!  This year we are giving our marquis program a facelift.  We are raising the standards and the excellence this year and I am thrilled to see what team God is putting together this year.  We are believing for 200 students to attend SBX this year and we will take about 40 – 50 adults…that is a lot of people at the beach!  Join me in praying for the students and adults that will attend this year.  If you are not a student or a parent of a student pray about maybe sponsoring a student to go this year.  We had to raise the rates based upon some location changes that were necessary as we grew.  The total cost is $250.  If you would like to chaperone let me or Nancy know asap.  This is going to be a banner year for Alive Youth Ministries and Pointe North Community Church.  I can’t wait…ok, back to the snow.

For more info go to www.aliveym.com

Half 2.0

Posted: January 21, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Alive Worship Experiences
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In May of 2007 Alive Youth Ministries began a growth campaign called Half.  Our goal was to reach half the students in our area in 5 years.  We would do this by doubling every year and pouring into their lives and investing in souls.  That campaign has led to amazing highs and lows.  We have seen some amazing moves of God and have been heart broken by students who just wouldn’t get it.  However in May of 2007 we were a youth ministry running about 75 students.  Last night we had over 370 students.  That is amazing.  In that time we had to go to 2 services on Wednesday night.  We offer now a Middle School service and a High School service on the same night.  We have seen amazing volunteers come and go but some have remained the same.  It has been amazing…

However, god has revealed to me that in our growth and concentration on reaching souls we have not done an adequate job of discipling  souls.  During much prayer and agony the Holy spirit revealed to me the following.

HALF 2.0

Like most new editions of a product the spirit of the product remains the same yet, there are some changes that make it more appealing.

For the duration of our campaign while we seek to reach HALF of the students in our area we will also see that…

  • HALF of all students bring their Bibles
  • HALF of all students are in BIBLE STUDY (Triage, Pulse or Small Groups)
  • HALF of all students parents are plugged into Pointe North
  • HALF of our students at Summer Breakaway

I am praying/preparing for this campaign as I did the first by a 20 day fast.  Why 20 days…it is HALF of 40.

Pray for me as God strengthens me to lead this ministry.

Pray for the students.

Pray for the families.

Pray.

Intern Position needed

Posted: January 12, 2010 by youthinthecorner in Leadership
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I am looking for a Youth Ministry Intern who is preferably a college student and interested in entering Youth Ministry.  This position has flexible hours except Wednesdays and weekends.  It is paid but it is intern money not staff money.  The intern needs to have a love for Jesus, a hunger to see teens come to Jesus and a desire to learn.  Funny is a plus too, it goes a long way with me.  As a youth ministry veteran of 17 years I wish I would have begun serving as an intern in a large ministry as opposed to having my “own” group in a smaller setting.  If you are interested contact me with a resume.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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