We discovered a little over a week ago that we were going to have a boy. This is the first opportunity I have had to blog on the subject. When the tech told us that it was going to be a boy…we were a bit surprised and elated and admittedly I began to tear up. When the tech walked out I broke down and cried like a baby. Not out of joy but out of a bit of fear. I am now going to be the father or a son. That has a deep meaning to me. Not that being a father to 2 beautiful daughters is something to be taken lightly but to raise a boy who will become a man that will lead a family of his own is a completely different thing.
You see Rheaumes are not that great at raising sons. My father was abusive. His father was abusive towards him and on down the line it went. I still carry a lot of STUFF because of the sins of my father. I know that I am a new creation in Christ however, the fear remains.
HOWEVER, Audra reminded me of a story I told her once about a conversation I had with my mother. I was about 11 years old and my mother was telling me about how I was going to do great things with my life…I teared up and told her that I had a feeling deep within me that it was not me who would do great things but my son. So, Audra always knew one day we would have a son because she feels (as do I ) that was a word from God spoken into my spirit. So I go into this with great humility and awe. Knowing that God has blessed me with a son to give him glory that one day he will do great things for the glory of God.
Anyway, with all of that…at the core I am simply a happy daddy. I have a wonderful wife who is a wonderful mother. I have 2 amazing daughters and I have a son on the way…Sean-Thomas…son I can’t wait to meet you.
